Doggett's Babysitting Evening
by doggettandscully
Summary: Doggett offers to babysit William whilst Scully goes out, what could go wrong???


Doggett parked his car outside Scully's apartment block, he waited for the song  
playing on the radio to finish before exiting the car, it was "Give a little respect" by  
Wheatus, he tapped his hand on the dashboard to the beat supplied by the new car stereo  
speakers he had purchased the previous day. He hated Saturdays, especially when he had promised  
to meet William, Scully's baby. Mulder had departed two weeks ago, to start a new life in  
Rhode Island where he used to have a summer house as a kid. He suddenly went back to a childhood  
memory when he had accidently broke his arm whilst trying to impress his friends. He was  
climbing a tree when his little foot at somehow entwined with a bundle of branches, he remembered  
hanging by his little foot and screaming for help, instead his supposed friends had stood there  
giggling at him, he suddenly began to feel depressed as he reminded himself all through his  
child hood he was the little dweeb in the corner, bullied in every single school he had attended  
and even at the FBI he remembered an incident which occurred several weeks ago when himself  
and Mulder had been picked on by some agents, it ocurred to him Wheatus had finished and  
instead the radio was playing his least favourite song, When The Going Gets Tough by Billy  
Ocean. He sighed and bushed the power button ending the dreaded 80's beat song, in a quick  
flash he was at Scully's door, knocking silently in case he woke William. He had thumping about  
and a groan before the door opened to reveal a depressed Scully, her hair in a mess, her make-up  
smeared across her face. Her clothes had seen better days and he was certain he could smell  
shit, he didn't know quite how to approach her so he decided on the cool approach  
"Hey there" he said suddenly remembering he forgot to bring a baby gift from the car "Rough night?"  
"Are you saying I look rough?" she asked in anger  
"No, no I assumed you might have, new baby and all" he said making a witty excuse, Scully  
gave him a dirty look and stormed back inside leaving the door open for Doggett to enter. Inside  
he was greeted with a view of dirty diapers, dirty linen and a putrid smell "Scully, where's  
Will?"  
"William" she snapped in correction, alarmed he had shortened William's name "His asleep,   
finally"  
"How are you coping?" he asked noting she was flustered trying to clean up the mess that   
surrounded her apartment  
"As well as to be expected" she said trying to sound proud   
"Did Mulder leave a return address?" Doggett suddenly asked, he was really trying to dish some  
more dirt on the fact Mulder had suddenly decided to leave  
"No" she lied "Why?"  
"Just wondered, I thought I'd send him a letter"  
"Well he didn't" she snapped "Will you take the trash out?" she asked handing him a black  
bag filled with dirty diapers  
"Ok" he said taking it from her grasp he smiled before exiting the apartment, he walked down  
the hall until he came to the garbage disposal shoot, he turfed the bag inside and headed back.  
When he walked back in her saw Scully emerge from her bedroom clutching a bundle of sheets, he  
reached out to grab them, he held onto part and roughly tugged at it, he thought he would help  
out after all he knew how to load and start a washing machine after all, suddenly her hand   
reached up and whipped his face, the speed resembled a whippet  
"Owww" he bellowed placing his hand over his sore cheek  
"If you wanted to hold him you could ask" she said with fury, it was then he realised the bundle  
of sheets in her hands was a baby wrapped in cotton blankets  
"Oh er, sorry I thought it was some dirty sheets" he explained hoping she would understand  
but instead another un-friendly spank intruded his other cheek  
"How dare you say my baby looks like dirty sheets" she said a few tears sliding down her cheek.  
Doggett didn't literally mean the baby he meant the material surrounding the baby but how could  
he put it into words without offending her further  
"Oh Scully he is such a beautiful little baby" he suddenly said changing the subject, "He looks  
like you"  
"Oh why thanks" Scully said excited at his compliment   
"You really need to take some photo's. If you like I'll pop to the shop and buy a disposable   
camera. William is the talk of the FBI I'm sure everybody would love to see a photo" he said  
"Really?" she asked, maybe Willmore was talking about William. Maybe Willmore wanted to be a  
subsitute dad  
"Yes especially between Reyes and Chopstix" he added "I shant be long, okay?"  
  
OUTSIDE  
  
Doggett was glad to finally be out of her apartment. He felt sorry for Scully, she had spent  
the past two weeks alone without a break from William. He didn't have much experience with  
babies but he decided he would ask if she wanted a night out while he stayed in and babysat for  
her. He could always ring his trusting mum up for advice if need be....  
  
SCULLY'S APARTMENT  
  
Doggett returned to see Scully giving William a bottle, he smiled as the pair looked so  
perfect together. Scully had turned back to her original figure strangely in a matter of two  
weeks.  
"I got a camera" he said openeing the box, he began taking photo's of them together "That  
should be enough for now" he said placing the camera on the coffee table. He took a seat  
beside Scully on the sofa and peered over the blankets at William. He smiled and sighed  
like a woman  
"You can hold him if you like" she said, Doggett reached out and took William into his arms "So  
how's the FBI?" she asked  
"Same as always" he grumbled "Although since Reyes and Chopstix have been dating-"  
"Dating" she said in shock "They're dating?"  
"Oh yeah, I thought you knew" he said with raised eyebrows "Word on the street, Reyes chatted  
him up at a party when she got drunk"  
"Anything else I should know about?" Scully asked with depression, she was really missing her  
co-workers and resented the fact Skinner wouldn't let her back at work until William was  
three months old. She hated to leave William but she already had a nanny to care for him  
during the day. Sometimes she would call the nanny over just while she grabbed some sleep or  
surfed the Internet. She had still managed to maintain her on-line social life, all of her  
on-line friends had been glad that she had, had William.   
"Willmore and--"  
"Who?" Scully asked cutting him off, was he about to reveal that Willmore and another agent  
were dating? Was her life about to end  
"Chow" he responded "They were caught playing chess, it was so funny" Doggett said laughing. He  
looked down at William and smiled, suddenly embarrassed at the silence. He noted Scully was  
staring at him waiting for him to speak to the baby but he felt stupid, what could he say?  
"Willmore hasn't phoned" she said aloud "Er he told me he would"  
"Well Willmore has important things going on. He is undercover at the moment trying to break  
a drugs ring"  
"I knew it would be something like that" she said with a dreamy face and tone  
"Listen Scully" he began "I was thinking if maybe you wanted to go out sometime. I'm always  
available to you know take care of William" he offered. Scully suddenly became happy when  
she realised Doggett was offering her the chance to go out and have fun, she jumped up  
"Really?" she asked looking at her watch, it read 5:43pm "Thanks Doggett, I appreciate it"  
she said dashing off into her bedroom. Doggett smiled at William again  
"Hello little baby, helloo schnucks" he said pulling a weird face, he puffed out his cheeks  
and made a strange noise with his mouth "My names uncle John" he said with a smile   
"Thanks again" she said grabbing her bag, Doggett couldn't believe she was ready. She had   
only been in her bedroom a few minutes, he couldn't quite believe she was so desperate to go  
out either "There are bottles in the fridge, do you know how to warm them?"  
"Pan of hot water, put the bottle in and test it before" he said matter-of-factly  
"Diapers are in the nursery store in my room" she said pulling a piece of paper from the memo  
pad beside the phone, she began to jot down some numbers "Wet wipes are beside the nappies  
and there is some diaper rash lotion in the kitchen cuboard above the sink" she informed  
"Okay I got that" he said going over her last sentence again  
"Here are some numbers in case you need me or advice or anything" she said. Doggett was alarmed  
to see the amount of numbers she had written down, her mobile, her mums number, the nannys  
number, Skinner's number. Doggett wondered why she had given him Skinner's number  
"Thanks" he said placing the piece of paper on the coffee table  
"I'll be in about ten, can you bath babies?" she asked   
"No" he replied flattly  
"Oh never mind I will bath him in the morning. He already had a bath earlier, I just like to  
bath him twice. He has clean clothes in my room, get him to sleep around 6:30. He likes to  
be rocked in his cribb" she said walking over and planted a big kiss on William's forehead  
"Go on Scully" he ordered "I have every piece of information I need and if I forget something  
I have plenty of phone numbers" he said with a smile. Scully smiled back and left the apartment  
It was then Doggett noticed a stinky smell in the air, it came to him it was William.   
He looked down at the little baby and wondered how such a small thing could create such a  
big smell, he stood up and looked around for somewhere to place the baby while he popped into  
Scully's room to retrieve the much needed items for the changing of William's diaper  
"Er" he muttered as he found there was nowhere, instead he took the baby with him and found  
a diaper changing centre, how practicle he thought. Then it dawned on him, Scully said there  
were diapers in here but there aren't he told himself. He grew stressed as he searched every  
aspect of the room for a diaper, in a panic he dived into the living room and began searching  
there. Then he heard William crying, he was flustered as he dashed back in to find William  
had been sick all over himself "Oh no!" he screeched as he gently undressed the baby and  
placed the dirty linen into a laundry basket located by the door.  
He knew he needed to get some diapers, William stank and he couldn't sit there all night in a  
soiled diaper. How could he possibly get some diapers? How would he take William in the car.  
There didn't appear to be a car seat in sight, a panicy, cacky state filled his body. Due  
to such mass panic and stress he stumbled over a large fluffy elephant, he dived onto the floor  
allowing a random fart to depart his arse leaving a rumbling sound in the room. He had no time  
to stop and laugh at the fart, he picked up the phone and dialed Reye's number  
"Reye's" she said  
"Reyes, please I need your help" Doggett begged  
"Why, what's going on?" Reyes asked, William began to cry again "Do I hear a baby?"  
"Yes it's Scully's. I offered to babysit and well I am out of diapers, William was sick, I   
fell over an elephant, farted an--" it was then he realised he had accidently let out too many  
detials  
"Farted?" she asked laughing  
"No I said floated to the floor. Look can you just come over to Scully's" he ordered, panicking  
to get back to William who was crying loudly  
"Sure" Reyes said ending the call.  
Doggett dashed back in and swiped William up from the diaper changing mat. He cuddled him in  
his arms but nothing seemed to sooth him, he tried rocking him from side to side in his  
arms, he cried more. He sat down on the sofa and began to have another stress fit,  
"I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby" he began to sing as gently as possible "Listening to Iron  
Maidan.." but his efforts were in vain as the little baby who was now red faced and covered in  
tears cried louder "Oh come on William" he begged "Please, please just sshh" but William  
cried still. He debated on whether to ring his mum, or perhaps Scully? But then he realised  
she was supposed to be out having fun, he couldn't ruin her much needed break. Suddenly  
the phone rang, he quickly leant forward and retrieved the receiver  
"Hello?"  
"Agent Doggett?" Skinner asked in surprise  
"Yes"  
"Is Agent Scully there? I wish to speak with her" Skinner interrogated  
"No sir she's out" Doggett informed  
"Are you alone with that baby?" Skinner asked  
"Yes" Doggett replied, Skinner heard the sounds of William crying and guessed by the  
cacky tone in Doggett's voice that he was having difficulty in looking after the baby  
"I'll be right over Agent Doggett" Skinner said firmly, placing the phone down. Doggett grew  
angry, how dare Skinner invite himself over without permission. How dare he interfere with  
his babysitting?  
It seemed like ages had passed when he finally heard the much awaited knock at the door, he  
walked over and opened it. On the doorstep was Reyes  
"Pooh what's that smell?" Reye's asked, she noticed Doggett was rough and tired, he was  
red and flat-like "Hey let me take William" she said admiring the little baby. As soon as  
she scooped him into her arms, William stopped crying. Great Doggett thought, even a two  
week old baby doesn't like me "Doggett, did you get the diapers?"  
"I couldn't" he snapped "Now your here I think I'll go now" he said rushing out like a shot.  
He needed to get away, as he walked down the stair case he saw Skinner's bald head walking up  
"Agent Doggett?" Skinner questioned "Is Agent Scully back?"  
"No" Doggett replied  
"You mean you've left a baby alone?" he asked angered  
"No, Reyes is looking after it"  
"Him" Skinner corrected with anger, Doggett noted Skinner seemed to be wearing fairly  
normal clothes instead of the outrageous outfits he had been wearing during his mid-life  
crisis. He shrugged the thought off and headed for the car....  
  
GROCERY SHOP  
  
Inside the grocery shop he headed for the baby isle, he looked at all the diapers. He  
didn't know what size to get, what brand Scully used. Again a surge of panic filled his  
body. He found himself pacing up and down the isle, desperatly searching  
"May I help?" a woman asked with a smile  
"I need some diapers" Doggett said, glad somebody had come to his rescue  
"What kind sir?" she asked  
"The kind for a baby" he snapped, thinking she was stupid  
"What size baby and what brand?" the woman asked  
"A little baby, two weeks old. Pampers I suppose" he blurted out  
"Then you need newborn" she said swiping a packet of the shelve "Anything else?"  
"No that'll do, unless your still doing that doughnut offer, two for the price of one" he  
said  
"That offer ended last week sir" she informed with an annoying smile, she took the diapers to  
the checkout and swiped them "$6.99" she said waiting for him to pay  
"$6.99?" he asked  
"Yes"   
"Oh er here" he said handing her the required amount   
"Thanks for shopping sir" she said, handing Doggett the diapers. He dashed from the shop  
and ran into the parking lot  
  
SCULLY'S APARTMENT  
  
Doggett dashed in and suddenly became aware William was nowhere in sight, Skinner sat lounging  
on the sofa watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, was he seeing things?   
"I got the diapers" he said  
"Agent Reyes found a whole pack inside an elephant diaper storage bag" Skinner replied still  
wrapped up in the television  
"I went out for nothing" Doggett sulked  
"Well you be quiet Agent Doggett, Agent Reyes is just getting William to sleep" Skinner snapped,  
Doggett looked up at Scully's madonna clock and noticed the time was 6:30, the exact time  
Scully had asked Doggett to get William to sleep "You are lucky myself and Agent Reyes  
came over tonight, I don't think you're fit to look after a goldfish"  
"Huh?" Doggett asked with saddended surprise, did Skinner just tell him he was basically  
useless? Did he insult him in such a rude manner  
"Are you deaf as well as stupid Agent Doggett?"  
"What makes you think you are good with babies, you are just sitting there" Doggett said  
suddenly regretting it  
"Agent Doggett I have looked after William three times boy. I know everything to know, I   
even know what time he has his feeds. How dare you offer to look after a baby when you cannot  
even look after yourself"  
"Sshh" Reyes suddenly said emerging from Scully's room "I have just got him to sleep" she  
said giving Doggett a supportive smile "I found the diapers" she said "That elephant you  
fell over was a storage place" Reyes said with a giggle  
"Your lucky your didn't fall over and hurt yourself Agent Doggett" Skinner said, Doggett was  
glad Skinner cared so much for his well-being.   
"Thanks" Doggett said deciding he would put the recent argument between them behind him  
"I don't think William would have been able to fend for himself if you were injured on the  
floor" Skinner added, turning the television over the the weakest link. A swirling range  
filled his body, he was prepared to run over and punch Skinner right on the chin. Reyes  
caught onto his anger  
"I'll make tea" she said motioning Doggett into the kitchen with her eyes, he began to   
calm down by counting to three in his head before following her "Don't let him get to you"  
"How dare he say such things. He said I couldn't look after myself or a goldfish" Doggett  
said, Reyes noted he sounded hurt  
"Oh ignore him, I was speaking to Agent Sherbartdab and he said Skinner is undergoing therapy  
for his mid-life crisis, that's why he is dressed so smartly and he has also grown lazy too"  
"Oh" Doggett said, Reyes seemed to know all the gossip. He concluded it was because she  
was now dating Chopstix, the gossip master of the bureau  
"Did Scully say when she'll be back?" Reyes asked filling the kettle with fresh water  
"Ten" he answered noticing a packet of doughnuts on the dining table, he licked his lips  
and reached out to pick up the bag, suddenly they were gone right from under his nose. He  
was gobsmacked, had he imagined them being there?   
"I don't think so Agent Doggett" Skinner said opening the bag and pulling out a doughnut "These  
are mine"  
"Oh erm sorry" Doggett said embarrassed  
"How long will the tea be Agent Reyes?" Skinner demanded to know  
"Not long" she replied  
"Agent Reyes why don't you join me in the viewing of a movie, it's starting soon"  
"If it's all the same I'd rather--"  
"Titanic" Skinner said, this instantly changed her mind, Doggett grew excited. Titanic  
was his favourite movie, he crossed the kitchen and walked into the living room in the hope  
of getting the perfect spot. He was just about to seat his little arse down when he found  
himself being pulled up by his sleeve, he looked to see Skinner eyeing him with complete  
rage  
"Agent Doggett, that was my seat" Skinner snapped pushing Doggett, Doggett stumbled back  
"Erm.." Reyes didn't know quite how to react  
"Sit down" Skinner ordered, Reyes obliged and sat beside him "You have done enough already,  
Agent Doggett can make the tea. You know how I like mine, don't you Agent Doggett?" Skinner  
asked, Doggett nodded and sadly wondered off into the kitchen  
  
THE END 


End file.
